Breakdown

I had a bit of a breakdown on Saturday morning. You know...the crying hysterically, yelling, crying, and more crying. So, I put my pajamas back on. I put myself back to bed. I covered my head. I did not get back up until Sunday. I'm better now. It took 3 days before I could talk to anyone. I still don't feel quite myself.

I felt it coming on all week. Our family had been moving furniture between houses and storage. I'd cleaned out closets. So I think I was kind of tired. My husband yelled at me for bothering him during work hours (which are all the hours), so I did a lot of things myself that I would have ordinarily had his help with. Then my daughter yelled at me for something that I thought I was being helpful with. And that was IT! The camel's back was broken. The cup had overflowed. The last straw had fallen. My world came crashing down around me.

Really when I write it down, it doesn't sound so serious, but ... I felt like all of a sudden I had no control of my life. I felt trapped and stomped on and completely unloved. I really wanted to run away. I settled for the guest room.

Everyone stayed away. Rich popped his head in a couple times to make sure I was breathing. Later, I found out Sabrina had been here but she didn't come in. When I wasn't sleeping, I cried, so I tried to stay asleep.

When I finally emerged, everyone walked around on eggshells. Rich did dishes (shock). Harry sat by me and hugged me. Sandi left me a present (a new purse). David and Kelly kept calling, but I just couldn't talk to anyone. Finally, yesterday I went out to lunch with the daughter who had yelled at me, but we didn't talk about what had happened.

You're probably wondering why I would put this in my blog. I want to remind everyone of how fragile the human spirit can be. Even the strongest person has a breaking point. And you can't know when or where a person might break or what occurrence, large or small might cause it. Be kind. Be caring. Be gentle. And if necessary, be quiet.

I don't regret my breakdown. I think it was good for my family to walk around on eggshells for a few days. I needed them to remember that I am a person with feelings. I also probably needed the rest.

Rain Rain Go Away

Rain, rain, go away,
Come again some other day
Little Johnny wants to play.

It's been raining and raining.
Chairs in the pool.
The lemon tree blew over again.
The church parking lot was flooded last night when I took Harry to Mutual- which, actually was kind of fun.
I left my rain coat at Dave and Nancee's. So I really couldn't go anywhere today.

The first day was OK. It's exciting to listen to the rain hitting the windows and the wind whipping the trees. But after the third, fourth, fifth day it's ENOUGH already. It's not fun anymore to dart from the car in the parking lot to Target. It's no longer funny to see how much debris has blown into the pool. Even splashing through puddles is getting old.

I don't know. Should I start studying up on how to build an ark? Or should I just accept it and enjoy the knowledge that eventually it will stop. The sun will shine again. Then the flowers and trees will begin to bloom and before I know it, it will be warm again and I will be floating in the pool.

So...today, while it's raining and I can't go anywhere (because I did my hair and I do not want to get it wet even if I would like to wander through Target) I decided to doodle some "rainy day" thoughts.

Whether it's struggling through with the help of an umbrella, or splashing into puddles with complete abandon, or just snuggling with your favorite quilt, let's just make do and look forward to the sunnier days ahead.

New Years Resolutions

Really I would be right on schedule if Christmas had just been a week later.

So lets talk about New Years resolutions. I don't know why we torture ourselves with them they're always the same: save $, lose weight, excercise, blah blah blah...

OK... It's the beginning of a new decade. Really I should make some changes in my life. Does cleaning out the closets count? Cause that's something that's been on my list for a while. Maybe if I put it on my resolution list I'll do it-NOT. OK...Let's see...Get serious...This is important...

• Read the Book of Mormon-
  started yesterday.

• Lose weight-been going to Weight Watchers.

• Cook dinner more often- tonight will be two nights in a row. WooHoo! (Thank goodness for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.)
  

• Exercise- Awwww...maybe...if Dave gets the teadmill fixed.

• Be nicer to my husband- OK I'll try.

There! That's a good start. All very doable. Notice that saving money is not on the list. Neither is cleaning out the closets.

Christmas Pajama Party

When I was growing up, Christmas was pretty formal. We always dressed up. Sometimes it was a few days before Christmas Eve, sometimes Christmas Eve, and sometimes Christmas Day. Long fancy dresses with high heels, mini skirts and tights, one year I wore the cutest sweater dress.

My mom was great at throwing beautiful Christmas parties with fancy dishes, and food, and gifts for everyone. We'd dance and laugh and sing Christmas carols.

Even once I was grown up with kids of my own, Christmas was a "dress up" occasion.

It was always fun!

I tried to keep up with the tradition and take my mom's place. I found out how much work it is and how much $ can be spent.

(Sorry, no pics. I'm tired of scanning them in. Awww how did we manage before the digital age.)

I had fancy dinners where my kids dressed up. We went caroling to friends and neighbors giving little homemade goodies. We made cookies and everyone had to do some kind of "talent"-singing, reading, dancing.

Then when my kids started having their own families it started to get harder to get everyone together at the same time. And then ask them to dress up? We tried. I tried.

Then a couple years ago I changed everything.

You know how you almost always get pajamas for Christmas? And that's the only present your mom let's you open on Christmas Eve? My kids hated that. Well...I got to thinkin...What if...

we had a Christmas Eve Pajama Party?

It was a hit!

Everyone loved the idea of wearing pajamas to Gramma's house for dinner. The kids could play. Everyone was comfortable and the kids were ready for bed when they left to go home.

I still do the cookies.

David read the Cajun Night Before Christmas. It was hilarious!

David's family has matching Mickey pajamas. Sandi gave me and Sabrina matching Tinkerbell pajamas. We all had a great time at the pajama party.