Breakdown

I had a bit of a breakdown on Saturday morning. You know...the crying hysterically, yelling, crying, and more crying. So, I put my pajamas back on. I put myself back to bed. I covered my head. I did not get back up until Sunday. I'm better now. It took 3 days before I could talk to anyone. I still don't feel quite myself.

I felt it coming on all week. Our family had been moving furniture between houses and storage. I'd cleaned out closets. So I think I was kind of tired. My husband yelled at me for bothering him during work hours (which are all the hours), so I did a lot of things myself that I would have ordinarily had his help with. Then my daughter yelled at me for something that I thought I was being helpful with. And that was IT! The camel's back was broken. The cup had overflowed. The last straw had fallen. My world came crashing down around me.

Really when I write it down, it doesn't sound so serious, but ... I felt like all of a sudden I had no control of my life. I felt trapped and stomped on and completely unloved. I really wanted to run away. I settled for the guest room.

Everyone stayed away. Rich popped his head in a couple times to make sure I was breathing. Later, I found out Sabrina had been here but she didn't come in. When I wasn't sleeping, I cried, so I tried to stay asleep.

When I finally emerged, everyone walked around on eggshells. Rich did dishes (shock). Harry sat by me and hugged me. Sandi left me a present (a new purse). David and Kelly kept calling, but I just couldn't talk to anyone. Finally, yesterday I went out to lunch with the daughter who had yelled at me, but we didn't talk about what had happened.

You're probably wondering why I would put this in my blog. I want to remind everyone of how fragile the human spirit can be. Even the strongest person has a breaking point. And you can't know when or where a person might break or what occurrence, large or small might cause it. Be kind. Be caring. Be gentle. And if necessary, be quiet.

I don't regret my breakdown. I think it was good for my family to walk around on eggshells for a few days. I needed them to remember that I am a person with feelings. I also probably needed the rest.